witchlingfumbles:

satdeshret:

buginateacup:

Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.

“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”

omfg this is great

New favorite comeback.

303,341 notes   -  17 April 2014


lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here


relahvant:

seeing people you dislike suffering through what they put you through is satisfying as hell

4,320 notes   -  17 April 2014

theirishshit:

everyones getting in relationships and I can’t even find my other sock

128,814 notes   -  17 April 2014


thewinchesters-stole-thephonebox:

This is how final exams are

261 notes   -  17 April 2014

wherepetewentz:

jaclcfrost:

supreme-goddess-of-the-galaxy:

jaclcfrost:

[smashes through your wall] ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER BAD POEM

[Breaks through window] ONE MORE OFF KEY ANTHEM

[knocks over a chair] LET YOUR TEETH SINK IN

[smashes the chair] REMEMBER ME AS I WAS NOT AS I AM

2,151 notes   -  17 April 2014

You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x)
23,506 notes   -  17 April 2014

ribbu:

there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me

it’s called the throne

446,809 notes   -  17 April 2014

yungsaintjesus:

fuckyea-nirvana-gifs:

redjentful:

fuckyea-nirvana-gifs:

asesino-de-gringos:

asesino-de-gringos:

John green is the type of nerd that even other nerds would shove inside a locker

Make john green see this post

What’s his URL someone tag him

fishingboatproceeds

THIS WILL BE THE INTERNET BATTLE TO END ALL INTERNET BATTLES

this is beef i can fully get behind. squad up

96 notes   -  17 April 2014

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